So have you guys thought about your fabricated responses yet?
Dennis: Yeah, weve cooked some up.
After your 3-album deal with Epitaph expired you guys were looking for
another label. What made you decide to become apart of the Victory Records
Dennis: Theyre a strong label and theyve done a good job.
Over the years theyve had a good reputation and they offered to
pay for us to record an album. That was nice. We thought yeah, it would
be cool to be with a record label that would pay for our album.
Dennis: Doesnt it sound like a good deal?
PZO: Of course.
Dennis: At the time we were thinking about putting out our own album when
we were just begging and borrowing. I was applying for credit card loans
to pay for recording, so it was nice to have someone else cover that.
Kevin: and somebody that was enthusiastic about it too.
As a band, what do you think your best qualities are?
Johnny: That would be a Kevin question.
Kevin: Best qualities?
Dennis: Yeah, Kevin is the newest guy in the band. Lets let him
answer that since he has more of a perspective on it than we do.
Kevin: Probably perseverance. I mean from an outsiders perspective
I can certainly say about this band that everything theyve been
through most recently and most tragically the passing away of their last
bass player, Leigh Lawson and the fact that despite all the hardship they
keep coming back and keep playing. [Theyre] really dedicated to
it. I think thats a real strong quality. Were really self-reliant
too. We handle a lot of things on our own.
Dennis: We got a radiator yesterday.
Kevin: Yeah! Were big boys. <claps>
Dennis: The van was over heating and we got us a radiator. <throws
arms in the air> ALRIGHT!!
Kevin: Woooooo! New radiator and it didnt solve the problem.
<throws arms in the air> Woooooo!
Dennis: The van is still over heating. We dont know what the problem
is. At least now we have a good radiator.
Johnny: Its a learning process.
When you play, do you ever try to emulate other performers that you admire?
Michael Jackson. <imitates Michael>.
Kevin: Peter Criss. Ive been known to dawn KISS makeup occasionally.
Steves a big fan of Mr. Clean.
Kevin: and Co-Jack.
PZO_Friend_2: He has his own work out kit.
PZO: There he is right there!
<Everyone looks out the window>
<Steve starts licking the right outside window of the van>
Kevin: Were talking about you, buddy.
Johnny: Speaking of dying bass players, did you guys hear that John Entwistle
from The Who just died today.
<Steve tries to get in the van>
Steve: You cant kick me out.
PZO_Friend_2: Band members only in here. Sorry, sir.
Steve: Im a groupie. Ill have sex with every one of you.
PZO_Camera_Friend: Abandon ship, abandon ship.
<Steve finds a spot to sit>
PZO_Friend_2: We were talking about you. Mr. Clean and
Kevin: The question was: Do we try to emulate/imitate other performers
when we are rocking out and I said you were a big fan of Mr. Clean.
PZO_Friend_1: He was talking shit, man.
Steve: You know what I say about that?
<Steve opens his water bottle and throws water at Kevin>
Kevin: That was just special effects.
Johnny: That was stage water.
Dennis: Yeah, that was stage water.
Steve: See if there was no video, we wouldnt have done that.
Kevin: Lousy camera.
Dennis: If there wasnt a video going on wed offer you beer,
but considering that you might be underage it could help as evidence against
Kevin: We dont want to end up like R. Kelly anyway.
PZO_Camera_Friend: We have the video camera.
Any unintentional mishaps on stage?
Dennis: We always plan intentional mishaps.
Dennis: Okay now, I am going to trip over this and break my teeth on the
drum riser and you guys, right when that happens--
Johnny: Not yet. <knocks on wall>
Kevin: Dennis was de-panted the other night.
Johnny: Yeah, nothing has happened to me yet.
Dennis: We had a little bit of a rough night the other night. The P.A.
wasnt working right and stuff. I was out working trying to get the
album finished. We just recorded an album. Were mastering it. So
I rode in on my motorcycle, so I had all my leathers on and so I took
them off and just grabbed some shorts coming in, but I didnt have
my belt. So while I was on stage my pants kept on falling down. Then this
huge guy in the front row started to try to pull my boxers off
Dennis: and I dont know. Im just a little bit shy, you know?
Dennis: Not that we havent done it before, but I just didnt
feel like baring it all. So I got in a little tussle with him. Luckily,
he backed down.
PZO_Camera_Friend: What if it was a girl pulling your pants down?
PZO_Camera_Friend: Then what?
Dennis: Ive taken a vow of monogamy.
Steve: Then he would have gave salute.
Dennis: I probably would have, but--
Kevin: He would have passed her on to Steve Im sure.
Dennis: Ive taken a vow of monogamy. I took the marriage vow, so
I would have handed her off to one of the other guys.
Steve: His wife was in the crowd.
Dennis: Yeah, thats true. My wife was there that night. Probably
before Id have time to hand her off, my wife would have <makes
cat noises and pretends to claw>.
What is a common compliment people give you individually and as a band?
Johnny: Great Show.
PZO_Camera_Friend: Thats what the last band said.
Dennis: How about some individual ones? Come on guys, youve gotten
some compliments lately.
Johnny: You should sing more. <laughs> Im serious.
PZO_Friend_2: Theres never any girl that screams, I want your
Kevin: Not until tonight.
PZO_Camera_Friend: Well do it just for you guys. Make you look good.
Steve: Can you get more people to do that for us? The ladies.
PZO_Camera_Friend: If we have enough dollar bills.
PZO: Dollar bills?
PZO_Camera_Friend: So we can pay them to scream.
PZO: A dollar bill isnt going to do it.
Kevin: Somebody last night said that we were tight.
Kevin: Which is nice that they think that. We try to be.
Dennis: We used to
in the letters people used to write, You
kick ass all the time.
Johnny: Used to write. They dont write us anymore.
Dennis: I havent seen that lately. I just havent seen the
phrase, You kick ass. Kicking ass seemed to be really cool
a couple years back.
PZO_Camera_Friend: Do you guys get lots of letters?
Kevin: Now that shit is tight.
Dennis: That shit is tight.
Steve: That shits yo, bro.
Kevin: Youre up in the shizzy my nizzy.
Have you ever done anything to each other while the other was sleeping
or passed out?
PZO_Camera_Friend: No Dirty Sanchez. <laughs>
PZO: Yeah. <laughs>
Steve: No dirty what?
Johnny: No Dirty Sanchez. <laughs>
Steve: We do the teabag.
Steve: Weve actually done more to other bands.
PZO: Like what?
Steve: We went out with Goober Patrol. We taped them all up in their bunk.
What else did we do? We did a bunch of other stuff.
PZO: What do you think you would have been voted or in high school
(i.e. class clown, having the best car, etc)?
Johnny: Class clown; though you wouldnt know it now. I was obnoxious
in high school.
Dennis: Nahhh. No way!
Dennis: Who would have thought?
Kevin: Steve has a pretty kick ass car.
Dennis: Steve has a hot rod.
<Through the window Eddie from the Voodoo Glow Skulls offers food>
PZO: Wow, he popped out of nowhere.
Kevin: I thought he was selling tickets. Ticket scalper.
<Steve pulls out a yellow envelope>
Steve: This is what we gave Goober Patrol, rattle snake eggs. Take them
PZO: Thats okay, give them to her.
Kevin: Its pretty crazy.
Johnny: We got them from some Indian guy up in Fresno.
<PZO_Friend_1 takes the envelope and slowly opens it to find some
weird contraption that was supposed to pop out, but failed to>
Steve: It worked on the English. They were like, Rattle snake eggs?
Johnny: Voodoo just offered us chicken if any of you guys want any.
Dennis: Life on the road. Just Barbeques
Steve: Summer sunsets. Beautiful ladies.
Dennis: Long walks on the beach.
What was the biggest waste of time in your life?
PZO_Camera_Friend: This interview.
Kevin: Infancy. I mean you dont even remember any of it. Whats
Dennis: Crummy jobs. Crummy jobs where youre getting paid low hourly
wage and the clock is ticking so slow and you feel like youre selling
your life for a few dollars.
PZO_Friend_2: Like a prostitute.
Steve: Yeah, you sit there and go like oh I cant wait for four hours
to pass and your like hey thats four hours of my life.
PZO_Friend_2: Yep, just like a prostitute.
Dennis: Prostitutes make pretty good money, what are you talking
PZO_Friend_2: And how would you know this?
Kevin: And its quick.
Dennis: I dont know. I dont have any direct experience.
Steve: Were all virgins. We dont know.
PZO_Friend_2: Except that guy cause hes married.
Steve: Youre a married virgin.
Dennis: Yeah, we were waiting until we were ready to have kids.
PZO: So you have the twin sized beds going on?
Johnny: Just like I Love Lucy.
Dennis: Were not ready to have kids, so weve been holding
on. Its not right unless youre planning on procreating. So
were just holding off until were ready.
PZO_Camera_Friend: Youre not a very good liar are you?
If you could be a superhero, what would your costume look like?
Dennis: Thats a great question.
PZO_Camera_Friend: Please say spandex with underwear over it.
Kevin: All these questions are pretty cool.
Steve: Id be Scooby Doo.
Johnny: Big bear suit. Party bear.
Dennis: Something with armor. That would be pretty cool.
PZO_Camera_Friend: With underwear over it.
Kevin: Id like to refer back to the KISS reference again. Sorry.
Johnny: Adult-sized underoos
How about that?...that have superheroes
Dennis: Id rather be a villain than a superhero. Like Darth Vader
before he turned into a wimp.
Dennis: That would be cool. Walk around <imitates Darth Vader>
Light savers, slicing people up.
Steve: Dennis is a superhero. You should see him put on his motorcycle
If you were to have your own 1-800 number, like 1-800-callatt, what would
you want it to be?
Kevin: We should have been advanced of these questions.
Dennis: So we could came up with something good.
Kevin: Some creative responses. 1-800-DumbDumb cause thats
what I feel like right now. Cause I cant think of anything.
PZO_Camera_Friend: Do you want to say that again to the camera?
Steve: 1-800-<licks lips> sweet and <winks>
PZO_Camera_Friend: This is going on the internet, you know.
Johnny: Im going to have to refer back to the party bear then. 1-800-PartyBear
Come party with me.
Steve: But how does a bear party?
Johnny: He parties like this. A little <roars><claws>
and a little <roars><claws>.
What is the best insult or would be insult youve heard
Johnny: You suck.
Johnny: Its not original, but its always fun to hear.
PZO: It works.
Steve: There was an insult once that was pretty funny when Scott, the
old singer, was in the band. We were at one of his baseball games and
he was out there pitching and one of the fans said to our old bass player,
Pete, who had purple hair at the time, Radinsky, you suck! Put in
the guy with the purple hair. Hell do better than you will!
Kevin: Ass Juice Jouster. Its a very bad insult. You guys dont
want to know what that is, right?
PZO_Friend_2: Yes. Turn off the camera.
Kevin: People take two fingers and they put it down in their butt crack.
After theyve been really sweaty---
PZO_Camera_Friend: Thats the Dirty Sanchez!
PZO: Wait, hear him out.
Kevin: and then they come out <flicks fingers out> On Guard!
PZO_Camera_Friend: Oh, thats a little different.
PZO: Yeah, not too much though.
Steve: Do you have any personal experience with the Dirty Sanchez?
PZO: No, we just get it a lot in interviews. It seems to be common among
Steve: Oh, have you heard of the Buckin Bronco?
Steve: You havent heard of that one?
PZO: Not yet.
Johnny: Well tell you later after the interview.
Steve: Mark that in the internet and see what comes up.
What profession would you never like to try?
Johnny: Commercial fishing.
Johnny: Whoops. Already did that one.
PZO_Camera_Friend: Didnt we discuss this earlier?
PZO: <laughs> Yes, we did.
PZO_Camera_Friend: Housekeeping for a porn store.
Kevin: The jizz mopper.
PZO: Oh yeah, your question.
PZO_Camera_Friend: Oh yeah.
PZO_Friend_2: Is it considered rape if an older woman has sex with an
underage girl without her consent?
Dennis: Yeah, it is.
PZO_Camera_Friend: Oh, I got my answer.
<Another guy comes to tell us about the food again>
Kevin: What was the question again?
Dennis: Im not sure.
PZO: What profession would you never like to try?
Steve: That stuff from Fear Factor.
Johnny: Farm working.
Dennis: But at least youre outside.
Johnny: Bending over and picking berries all day.
I have a question actually. Do you guys have a bathroom in here?
Steve: Its right here. <Pulls out an empty water bottle>
Kevin: The advantages of being a guy.
Dennis: Thats why they have service stations.
PZO_Friend_2: What if you have to crap or something?
Kevin: We crap in a bag and throw it out the window.
Dennis: Crap in there <points to ice chest> and then once
it freezes put it in a bag.
Johnny: You pick up dog shit, so why not your own.
Dennis: Thats why they have service stations.
Johnny: Sometimes those are a lot worse than just taking a crap in the
Dennis: Thats true.
PZO: Well, if youre in the middle of nowhere, you wont be
able to find a service station.
Kevin: You go in the middle of nowhere.
Dennis: Does a bear go in the forest?
Johnny: This bear does.
Dennis: Weve played in clubs before where they didnt have
bathrooms. In Germany you just go out under the moon.
Steve: Where do you think the shit goes once you shit in the toilet?
If you had a choice, what time in history would you like to live in?
Kevin: Now, man.
Dennis: I think now is pretty exciting. Stuff is changing all the time.
The change that is happening is exhilarating and exciting.
Steve: Id like to be back in the 60s with Austin Powers where free
love will rule the world.
Kevin: Maybe like the early and mid 70s with Black Sabbath, KISS, and
Zeppelin and stuff like that.
Dennis: I think a lot of it depends on your station in life like to be
in the Medieval Times if youre a peasant wouldnt be too cool,
but if youre the king
Steve: Not when they are beheading the king.
Dennis: Yeah, during the French Revolution probably wasnt too cool,
but right before the French Revolution.
PZO_Friend_2: I wouldnt want to be king, you have a lot of people
trying to kill you.
Kevin: But you have so many people protecting you.
PZO: Theyll eventually turn on you.
Kevin: and rightly so.
Which two people would you pick to be on Celebrity Boxing?
Dennis: Id like to see Keanu Reeves get his ass kicked.
PZO_Camera_Friend: Doesnt he have a band?
PZO: Thats sad.
Kevin: You thought his acting was bad, wait until you hear them.
Steve: Gary Coleman and Kid Rock.
Johnny: Ozzy Osbourne and Ozzie Nelson.
Whats one slang word that you cant stand?
Steve: Yeah, dude.
Kevin: No, yens. In Pittsburgh people say yens.
PZO: How is it used?
Kevin: What are yens doing tonight? How bad is that?
Steve: One slang word Id like to see become popular is clitty. Thats
Johnny: Smell you later.
Kevin: People that say worsht. Instead of washed.
PZO_Friend_2: How much ya like being done?
PZO: I says to myself.
Dennis: I used to hate it when people said hella. Thats
hella cool, man. Thats hella bitchin
and its like what do you mean?
PZO: Then No Doubt comes out with Hella Good.
Whats one extreme thing you want to do before you die?
Dennis: Id like to fly a plane.
Steve: Ive been skydiving.
Johnny: Im already a diver. Swimming with the fishies.
Dennis: I would like to try Crack before I die. When I am an old man I
am going to get all that shit.
PZO_Friend_2: Crack isnt that bad.
PZO_Camera_Friend: Next question.
PZO: What is your best childhood memory?
Johnny: Not having any.
Dennis: Johnny pretty much drinks to where he doesnt have to remember.
Kevin: It was probably traumatic.
Steve: Hes still a child.
Dennis: That time that kid kicked sand in your face. Oh, Im sorry.
I didnt want you to remember.
Dennis: For one birthday I walked in and there was birthday cake and a
Planet of The Apes little set with a bunch of Planet of The Apes stuff.
I was stoked. That was my favorite childhood memory.
Kevin: My first drum set was pretty cool. It was a birthday present; a
Wait. I have a question. How long have you known each other?
Steve: High School. Junior High.
Dennis: Pretty much Junior High. Kevin came out from Philly about a year
or two ago, so hes new.
Kevin: Im the new buck.
Steve: We get to boss his ass around.
Kevin: I may regret saying this, but there hasnt been a lot of hazing
Steve: Oh, what have you done to band members. I forgot about that.
Johnny: Bengay on the eyelids. Toothpaste on the eyelids.
Steve: Bengay on his balls.
Kevin: Sleep far away.
PZO_Camera_Friend: Or wear a cup when you go to bed.
Steve: That helps cultivate the bengay. Whole cup full of it <does
hand motion> <makes squishing noise>
Do you know any bad jokes that youd like to share?
Kevin: All the jokes we know are bad. Bad jokes like stupid jokes?
Kevin: I have a ton of them. A horse walks into a bar and the bartender
says, Hey Bud, why the long face?
Johnny: Thats an awful joke.
Kevin: You want a bad joke, theres a bad joke for you.
Johnny: Six white horses tripped and fell into the mud. Theres a
dirty joke for you.
Kevin: What has seven arms and stinks?
Kevin: Def Leppard.
PZO_Camera_Friend: Thats messed up.