Tell us about your favorite memory and why?
Chris: You better start with that one buddy.
Monte: My favorite memory probably was getting asked out by Rosanna Arquette.
Monte: I was working at this place, this place called Territory and she
came in and everyone knew it was her, and I didnt think it was her.
So everyone was too freaked out to help her out or whatever. So I was,
Man thats not even her. Ill go help her. So I
helped her shop or whatever, and when she went to pay she paid with a
credit card, and I was like, Oh, it is her. I got all nervous
and finally she was like, So when do you get off? and all
that stuff. I declined because I was too nervous to hang out with her.
Chris: I dont have any memories nearly that cool. My best memory
was getting whipped by my dad when I was two. <everyone laughs>
Good memories would be Christmas day opening up my first KISS record.
I dont know if that is the best memory, but its the best one
I can think of off the top of my dome.
Is there a song that has changed your life in any way?
Monte: Yeah, I would say the song that changed my life would be Percision
Auto by Superchunk. For some reason when I heard that song everything
changed for me.
Chris: Wow thats a great song. Lets see, Wind beneath My Wings
was a moment in my life where I realized I could fly, and no one was going
to hold me back. <everyone laughs> Honestly, I would probably
have to go back to KISS because when I first heard KISS then, I realized
I was still going to be playing when I was a grown-up man.
Whats your creative outlet?
Chris: Monte is a knitter; he started a knitting club in Austin. <everyone
Monte: Whats my creative outlet?
Monte: Yeah, I am a really, really, really good cook. I dont know
about good cook, but I make weird, weird shit.
Chris: He is awesome; he is like the chief of the indie rock world. If
you guys only knew.
Monte: Im like the iron chief of indie rock.
PZO: Whats the best thing you can make?
Monte: My best dish is Manicotti.
Whats the most uplifting quote you can think of?
Monte: The most uplifting cloat, quote, cloat. <laughs> Lets
see, This is the first song on our new album. <everyone
Chris: You are the wind beneath my wings.
PZO: Okay,. lets move along. Do you want to move along?
Monte: Yeah, yeah I am trying to remember. Cheap Trick said that.
Chris: Yeah, yeah, Robin Zander circa 1978.
Is there anything you have to be the best at?
Chris: That we personally have to be the best at?
PZO: You, individually.
Chris: That we want to be the best at, or we just have to?
PZO: In your mind you have to.
Monte: These questions are getting deep. Lets see, I think I have to be
the best, I dont know.
Chris: You have to make the best Manicotti.
Monte: Yeah. I dont know I am not really the best at anything I
am pretty laid back. I run a close second to everything that I do, I kind
Chris: We thrive on our half-ass do attitude. <everyone laughs>
We find a place in the middle where we dont have to be the best,
but we are not the worst, but it looks pretty good to other people. We
only impress the worst. <everyone laughs> Most people are
mediocre or lower, so we look pretty good. Honestly.
Are you guys sweethearts?
Monte: Chris is a sweetheart; Im sort of a cock. I mean a dick,
I mean never mind. I think we are sweet guys.
Chris: Mark the bass player is probably the sweetest guy in the band.
If any guy is sweet, that guy is pretty sweet.
Monte: But he is also sweet as in more south park terms, more you know
Chris: Im the only one that, well no two of us actually has German
blood, so we are actually Schatzis but thats about as close
as we come.
You're playing with The Impossibles for one of their farewell shows; do
you think they'll just end up getting back together again later like last
Chris: Yeah actually we already said they are planning their next reunion
for mid 2003. They are going to let this die out for a while, start a
couple of side projects and then, is it July we talked about?
Monte: Yeah, July 2003 they are going to come back with the reunion tour.
Chris: They already have the album recorded they are just going to keep
it under wraps you know.
PZO: Are your serious?
Chris: I am totally lying. <everyone laughs> But I dont
think they can come back again. If they come back again it will look like
they are just dying for money or something. I dont want them to
break up, but I think they are probably done.
Monte: But with good luck and hard work I think they will be back together.
Chris: And I think their new bands will be awesome.
Chris: I really dont think they are going to fail. Im not
just saying that.
Would you say some bands that are out there now have influenced the image
of your band?
Chris: I dont think we have an image, what is our image? Do we have
an image? I think our image was formed by Wayne Coyne From the Flaming
Chris: Because he has no image at all, just this goofy guy that has been
playing music for 20 years.
Monte: We are big geeks.
Chris: I think if geek is an image, then that is our image. <everyone
laughs> I dont think we are close to having any form of an
image. Monte has kick ass hair though, thats the coolest thing we
have going for us.
In your opinion, what is the most important thing to get out of life?
Chris: Straight up cash as much as you can get.
Monte: If you have money you have everything.
Chris: If you had money you could do whatever you want man.
Monte: You have the prettiest girls; you have all the cool drugs, all
the cool clothes.
Chris: You can pay off the police. <everyone laughs> So what
was the question again?
PZO: In your opinion, what is the most important thing to get out of life?
Chris: The only thing that you want is to be happy and do what you love
to do. There is nothing else that is the only thing that counts.
Which band do you wish would break up?
Monte: Creed. <everyone laughs>
Chris: That would have to be my choice too. There are a lot of other bands,
but that would be probably be a signal to the world that all the other
bands either have to kill themselves or break up within a month. Or stop
getting perms. Nickelback would be a close second I would say. Stop whining
and moaning and thinking that your lyrics are really important to society.
What's something mean you'd like to do to someone, but never had the guts
Monte: I have always wanted to pick someone up and take them really far
from where they were supposed to be and then drop them off and take off.
But I have never had the guts to do it.
Chris: Hey, you did that to Jeff last year.
Monte: Oh well. I want to do it again. I have not had the guts to do it
Chris: I have always wanted to mix about a quarter of super glue with
somebodys shampoo. <everyone laughs> Or nair, replace nair
in somebodys avida bottle, but I have not tried that yet. There
is nair for men now have you seen that?
Chris: They have nair for the man. It kind of looks tougher you know,
masculine product marketing.
Monte: It has the scent of brute 33. <everyone laughs>
Chris: So you just slip it under your arm pits I guess, and you chest
hair and back hair. Gross stuff. I havent actually tried it, but
I hear its good.
PZO: Maybe you should.
Chris: I dont have enough, I have a little back hair, but I dont
have enough to nair it yet. Probably within five years I will.
PZO: You know you could grow a beard, then nair it off.
Chris: I could just nair it off. You know those guys that have those beards
and it comes down and connects with their chest hair.
PZO: Ewe thats disgusting.
Chris: Dont you hate it when that happens?
PZO: I have never seen that happen, and thankfully I havent.
Chris: Well, Robin Williams is kind of like that kind of guy.
PZO: Oh, really hairy.
Chris: Gorilla style, like they just dont know where to stop shaving.
Might be here, <points to top of chest>, might be here
<points to lower part of chest> where do you stop.
Do you think this is the perfect time/era for schatzi to come out in or
was their another period of time you think would have been better (you
can go back into time on this)?
Monte: If we could of came out in like 78 we would be fucking huge
Chris: If we could of come out, well actually like a year before Cheap
Trick came out we would of rocked the world. No one would know where the
rock was coming from. I also think if we would of come out in San Francisco
in 68 in the whole hippie era, our music would of gone over really
well I think. <laughs> Im just kidding.
PZO: <laughs> Okay, I cant tell if you are just joking.
Chris: We are pretty dry.
PZO: I can tell.
Chris: I mean we are all kind of hippies; we all wear sandals and we are
from Austin a kind of hippie town. Im just kidding we are really
Monte: We are not hippies.
Chris: But we know some. We have a guy with dreadlocks in the band though,
does that count?
PZO: <shakes head no>
Chris: O.k. I mean he looks like he would be kind of a beatnik hippie
type, but hes really like this hard core punk rock type hes
really nuts. You would never think that he was. <laughs>
PZO: How did we get on the subject of hippies?
Chris: I dont know its a good subject though. Heck. Austin
has quite a few of those.
Who's the most famous person you have programmed on your cell phones?
Monte: No one is programmed in our cell phones, but one time Al Jourgensen,
we were supposed to play a show at the Electric Lounge in Austin. Which
isnt there anymore the place burned down. We were supposed to play
a show and he decided that he needed the club that night so he cancelled
the show. Because he is Al Jourgensen he can cancel anyones show.
He did it by calling us and he was like, Uh yeah can I speak to
Schatzi? He did it on the machine and he was just like, Yeah
this is Al Jourgensen from the Ministry. Like we wouldnt know
where he was from. Like we would think he was from K.C. and the Sunshine
band or something. He so he was like, Yeah this is Al Jourgensen
from the ministry you guys arent playing tonight I need the club,
so your shows been cancelled. If you have any questions call Electric
Lounge. I thought it was a joke so I went over to the caller ID
and I looked at the caller ID and his name was on there. It said Al Jourg.
<everyone laughs> I was like, Dude, Al Jourgensen called
Chris: Dont ever delete that. Weve got to unplug that so it
wont get erased. Who else famous called our caller ID? There was
someone else. Never mind I cant figure it out. Paul Stanley or somebody.
What question have you been dying to have an interviewer ask you, and
could you answer it for us?
Monte: My question would be Kirsten Dunst asked a person to ask me to
marry her. And of course my answer would be yes. But thats a question
no one has really asked me yet, but I think it will happen in the near
Chris: Shes going to ask me to ask him, and that would be my question.
Monte: I saw Spiderman; I saw the way she was looking at me. <laughter>
I think she wants me. It sounds funny, but I think it is really true.
Chris: I think she has the Schatzi record too.
Chris: You know she probably has it by now.
If you were a spokesperson for a company what company and product would
Monte: I would probably want to be the spokesperson for Whamo; and the
product would probably be silly putty.
Chris: Thats a tough one. What would be my best endorsement?
Monte: I think your best endorsement would probably be Briggs lawnmower.
<laughs> Or John Deer.
Chris: John Deer would be good, or Mac Truck. The more we tour the more
I start feeling like Im a trucker. Like you start going into truck
stops, and laundering the aisles looking at light replacements and logs
Monte: Getting big 64 ounces of coffee.
Chris: I start seeing like signs in the back of trucks saying you can
make 40 cents a mile. Im thinking <slams fist on table>
Im already driving this much, why am I not getting paid? You know
what Im saying? So if I can combine semi-driving with rock, I could
drive a truck drop the payload and go to a show. I would endorse that
company is what I would do.
Monte: He said drop a payload. <everyone laughs> yeah.
Have u ever done anything to each other while the other was sleeping or
Chris: I dont think we can really talk about that here.
Monte: Strike that last statement from the record please. <everyone
PZO: Are you serious?
Monte: No, no, no, no. Lets see, one time, well something got done too
me, Eric Melin and Nick Colby from the Fakebook once we were in Kansas
once, and they drank me under the table and I passed out. So to prove
that they drank me under the table while I was passed out, they actually
picked me up and put me under the table while I was passed out. So when
I woke up I was actually under the table. Ha ha.
Chris: This didnt happen to me but one time my little brother passed
out in my room on the floor, not from drinking but he just feel asleep.
I rolled him over onto the blanket and dragged him into the closet, and
I shut the door and left him there all night. <laughter> Then
I woke up about nine in the morning and hes banging on the door
and he feel down and like smacked his head. I would really like to do
that to somebody again, that was fun.
Tell me about one of your favorite childhood memories?
Monte: Favorite childhood memory. I have a ton of unfavorite memories.
I guess my favorite memory is when I was kissed on the lips by Laura Croft
in second grade. Yeah, that was awesome. She was the hottest girl in school.
Thats right second grade. <everyone laughs>
Chris: The first time I got kissed by a girl, I guess it was in the second
grade, I was pissed I was so mad. But I think I was just embarrassed because
then like two months later it was the coolest thing ever.
What is one thing you would like to change about the past?
Monte: One thing I want to change from the past is having been born. No,
I dont know. I dont really think about the past.
Chris: The only thing I would change about the past is having Frank Zappa
be elected President. That would probably change everything so much you
wouldnt need anything else.