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OFF BY ONE
members present:
Jon Bishop, Jordan Brownwood, Trevor Easter, Marc Gould

conducted on:
January 2003

by: Nevra Azerkan
extras:
official website
shout-out to PZO





 
 

PZO: As a band what do you think your best qualities are?
Jon: I smell good.
Marc: I think we know each others styles real well. So we can come up with some cool stuff.
Trevor: We make up some pretty catchy stuff just naturally. Thatís probably one of our best qualities.
Marc: Weíre ruthlessly mean.
Jon: Weíre ruthless. Thatís all I have to say.
Marc: Ruthlessly mean. Thatís the best quote of the day.
Trevor: Stay in school.
Marc: There you go.

PZO: Is there a decision you hope you never have to make as band?
Jon: Sex change.
Trevor: To kill each other.
Marc: No, Iíd kill you.
Trevor: Yeah, you all probably would. You remember that eat thing?
Marc: Weíd eat Trevor.
Jon: If we were stranded on an island, weíd eat Trevor first.
Marc: Yeah.
Jon: Thatís what weíve decided so far.
PZO_Friend: ĎCause Trevor is full of meat.
Marc: Exactly.
Trevor: Itís not fair, man.
Jon: He has thighs like thoroughbreds.
PZO: Thunder thighs.
Trevor: Hey!
<laughter>

PZO: What is your favorite line from a movie?
Trevor: I donít know if I can say it. Just watch the whole movie Blazing Saddles youíll get like a hundred.
<They talk about the movie Rob Roy>
Trevor: I think weíre just talking amongst ourselves.
<laughter>
Marc: If I remember one, Iíll tell you.
Jon: I donít think I have any very good quotes. Iím looking for an inspirational one.
Trevor: Go see 25th Hour. Thereís a good scene in there. Itís an independent movie by Spike Jones.
PZO_Friend: Spike Lee.
Trevor: Spike Lee, whatever.
<laughter>
PZO: His movies are good. So basically any movie off of IFC?
All: Yeah.
Jon: I didnít hear what she said.
PZO: IFC.
Jon: Oh, IFC, definitely.
PZO: Do you know what it stands for?
Trevor: Whatís IFC?
Marc: Independent FilmÖ
PZO: Channel.
Trevor: Oh.
Jon: I was way off.
Trevor: Have you seen Bowling for Columbine?
PZO: No, but Iíve heard itís really good.
Trevor: Itís SO good.
Jon: Whoís interviewing who?
Trevor: I donít know. I was just asking.

PZO: If you were to be reincarnated, what would you be reincarnated as?
Trevor: A snail.
All: Yeah!
Trevor: They have a cool house on their back.
Marc: Iíd be a bird.
Jon: A caterpillar is better Ďcause you get the best of both worlds. Then you can change.
Marc: To a butterfly? <rolls eyes>
Jon: Donít they have a sex change. ĎCause arenít they like a male before that? Thatíd be sick. Youíd live half your life a male then change it up and bone your own species. I mean, sex.
Trevor: Or a worm. You can have sex with yourself.
<laughter>
Jon: There you go.
Trevor: Wait we already do that anyways.
<laughter>
Marc: Frogs can change their sex to adapt to their surroundings.
Jon: If there are a bunch of females, they can become a male.
Marc: Thatíd be awesome. Weíd hook up for sure.
Jon: If you were a guy and could change into a girl and be with a guy, thatíd be sick. Not that Iím gay or anything. <shifts eyes>
<laughter>
Trevor: Are you getting anything to work with here?
PZO: We donít actually grab bits and pieces. We write the whole interview straight out. Nothing edited.
Trevor: Oh man.
Jon: Thatís awesome.
Trevor: Weíre screwed.
Marc: Youíre going to type all of this?
PZO: Yes.
Trevor: Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious!
Jon: Jonís penis is 10 inches long!
Marc: Mine is 3 inchesÖfrom the ground!
Jon: OOOOHHH!

PZO: What is on thing you would never do no matter how much money you were offered?
Jon: Iíd pretty much do everything.
<laughter>
Trevor: I probably wouldnít eat blue cheese if it smells like it tastes. I mean if it tastes like it smells.
PZO: My brother eats fish with milk.
Marc: That is getting sick.
PZO: He pours the milk on the fish.
Jon: Like cereal?
PZO: Yes.
Trevor: Is it dead?
PZO: Yes.
<sushi discussions occurs>

PZO: Give the opportunity, who would you kidnap for a day?
Trevor: Ali Landry, sheís so hot.
Marc: Iíd kidnap Brad Pitt.
Jon: Guess how many girls you could get if you were with him.
Trevor: Yeah! Itís like having a cute dog.
<laughter>
PZO: Brad Pitt isnít even good looking anymore.
Trevor: Are you kidding me?
Marc: Yeah, he is. I saw him last week.
Trevor: Man, I would turn gay for that guy. Wait, I didnít say that. Donít type that! PLEASE!
Marc: Heíd turn gay for Brad Pitt. Thatís what Trevor said. Trevor quote on quote would turn gay for Brad Pitt.
<laughter>
Marc: I have a non-sexual crush on Brad Pitt.
Jon: He is a very fine looking man.

PZO: What band do you think should call it quits?
Trevor: Sugar RayÖ.just kidding!
Marc: Trevor is a wussy and is afraid to say anything on camera.
Trevor: Yeah, Sugar Ray.
Marc: Call it quits, homies. You guys are done.
Jon: Smash Mouth. Who likes Smash Mouth? They donít like themselves probably.
<laughter>
Trevor: Smash Mouth is way worse.
PZO_Friend: You can plan on the next record being good though. Thatís what I heard.
Trevor: You think so?
PZO_Friend: The guitarist and the songwriterÖ<hesitates to continue>
<Every one encourages him to go on>
PZO_Friend: The guitarist and the songwriter used to play in a lot of club bands back in San Jose. Iím up from San Jose and they were in a bunch of good bands and they were saying weíre tired of being pop crap.
Jon: Weíll see.
Marc: They should all fall off a bridge.
Jon: Jeez, donít kill them.
Trevor: I know, man.
Marc: I didnít say without a bungee cord. You didnít let me finish.
<laughter>

PZO: What is something mean youíve always wanted to do, but never had the guts to do it?
Jon: Punch Marc in the face.
Marc: I want to cut someoneís face.
Trevor: Poop on Marcís head.
Marc: Cut Jordanís wiener off.
Jon: and suck it.
Jordan: What?!? I want to drop a piano on a personís head like in the cartoons.
Jon: Yeah!

PZO: Have you ever done anything to each other while the other was sleeping or passed out?
All: Ooohhh.
Trevor: Letís not talk about that one.
Marc: Yeah, next question.
<laughter>
Jon: We always rub each othersÖ..
Trevor: Tea bag.
Marc: Sharpies and shaving cream.
Trevor: We donít rub each other you sicko! At least I donít know when Iím sleeping. Maybe I sleep hard.
Jon: We cuddle.
Trevor: No, okay. When youíre in a band you get stuck in awkward places where you have to sleep in a 10 foot space, so your only option is to spoon.
Marc: <laughs>
Trevor: But thatís okay. Weíre okay with that.
Jon: Spooning naked is the best.
Marc: Any bands who say they do otherwise are a bunch of liars.
Jon: Yeah, theyíre all gay like me.
<laughter>
Jon: I really do have a girlfriend if that helps my case.
PZO: As a cover up?
Trevor: Ohh..
Jon: A little bit..

PZO: Whatís your best caught in the act story?
Marc: I got caught masturbating by my father. I got caught whacking off by my pops.
Trevor: OH! Listen to Jon. Okay, if you guys know anything about internet porn when you look up internet porn like 800 things come up and you canít close them. So heís in a room and the door is locked and his mom is like, ďJon!Ē and heís like, ďOh, ShitĒ and he closes it and like 20 more things pop up--
Jon: We were at my grandmaís house, dude.
Trevor: and sheís like, ďJon, what are you doing?Ē and heís like sitting there trying to figure out what to do and he turns it off and his mom comes in and she feels the computer and sheís all, ďWhy is this warm?Ē and heís all, ďI donít know.Ē
PZO_Friend_2: That sounds familiar.
All: OOOHHH!
<laughter>
Trevor: It happens to the best of us.
Marc: Iíve never been caught doing anything else, but masturbating. Oh my gosh, I was actually having sex with my girlfriend about a week ago.
Trevor: Oh My God! Shut up!
Marc: Shut up, you dumb fuck. My mom walked in and she could hear us. Not like thatís any worse getting caught masturbating. It was pretty embarrassing though.

PZO: Whatís your favorite curse word?
Marc: Fuck.
Jordan: Dang.
Trevor: Darn it.
Marc: Fuck.
Trevor: Gee wiz.
Marc: Fuck.
Trevor: If you go to any one of our concerts youíll know that Marcís favorite word is fuck. He uses it more than Ďandí and Ďtheí.
Marc: I donít use it a lot. Iíve heard some bands use it too much.
Jon: I think everyone says fuck.
Marc: Everyone becomes sailor mouths.

PZO: What is your best flirting tactic?
Jon: Getting naked.
Trevor: Naked.
Trevor: Jon and I get naked together.
Marc: He puts mustard on himself.
Trevor: No, it was a dairy.
Jon: Truth or dare is always a good one. You can get girls naked fast.
Trevor: Donít play with us whatever you do. Youíll be screwed.
Jon: Extreme truth or dare.
Trevor: We force things..
Jon: <laughs> We force things. Get naked!
Trevor: You have to follow the rules. Every girl hates Jon Ďcause he makes them do something they donít want to. Itís funny.
Marc: Heís not that bad.
Trevor: No, we donít play like porn truth or dare.

PZO: What kinds of thoughts keep you awake at night?
Trevor: Uh, naked girls.
Marc: The thought of trying to get to sleep.
All: Yeah!
Marc: Youíre like I gotta go to sleep, I gotta go to sleep.
Jon: World peace.
<laughter>
Jon: I swear.

PZO: What is your favorite infomercial?
Marc: Nair.
Jordan: The juicer.
Trevor: Yeah, the juicer.
Marc: Iím sticking with Nair.

PZO: Have you ever been arrested or detained by law enforcement officials?
Trevor: Jon was!
Jon: I was arrested once for doing nothing, for talking on my cell phone. They said I was drunk driving. Hence the name drunk driving under the influence.
Jordan: You were drunk and under the influence at the same time? <laughs>
Trevor: Youíre crazy, asshole.

PZO: If you were a statue, what would be your pose?
Trevor: Bending over.
Jon: Spread eagle.
Jordan: Iíd do a jumping jack.
PZO_Video_Camera_friend: Demonstrate. Do your pose.
Jon: Girls do spreading eagle. What do I look like?
Trevor: You have to get caught in the moment.

PZO: What is a question you would like to be asked in an interview?
Jon: Whatís your favorite sexual position.
Trevor: Yeah, thatís a good one.
Jon: No one has asked that.
Trevor: The gardener.
Jon: Yeah, thatís a good one.
Trevor: Where you bought that thing for 50 cents in New York. Kama Sutra.
Jon: Kama Sutra!
Trevor: The gardener, where sheís on her hands like a wheelbarrow.
Jon: Yeah, and they call it the gardener.
Jordan: I used to do that for my brother.
All: OOOHHHHH!!! Thatís sick.
Trevor: I used to do that to my cat, dude.
All: OOHHHHHH!!!
Marc: I was drunk and I jizzed on a cat.
<laughter>
Marc: This is the best interview ever!
PZO_Friend: Thatís a great behind the music reenactment.
Trevor: This interview is going to come back and rape us in the morning.
Jon: Only half of it is true.
Marc: We lie about everything.

PZO: What is a question youíre tired of being asked in interviews?
All: ďHowíd you get your name?Ē
PZO: Yep, why didnít they just read it.
Marc: Yes, smart cookie. Why didnít they just read it.





 
 
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