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members present:
Ryan Jordan
Brandon Armstrong
conducted on: November 2002
by: Nevra Azerkan
official website
shout-out to PZO


PZO: As a band, what do you think your best qualities are?
Ryan: Our best qualities as a band in general?
PZO: Yeah.
Ryan: Our devilish good looks. <clears throat> Our dedication to our music; having that being first and foremost allthe time I think is probably our best quality. Definitely.

PZO: What is a common compliment people give you individually and as a band?
Ryan: Individually...
Brandon: I get a lot of "You rock."
Ryan: Yeah. "You're so hot."
Brandon: That one comes occasionally.
Ryan: My favorite to hear is when people say "I love your whole record." , "I love everything about the band." Not just "I love your single." or anything like that. That to me is the most gratifying to hear. People who are really touched
then give you like a mature intelligent things about music instead of just saying "You're hot." or "You guys are good."That's nice too, but when people dig down deep into why they appreciate what you're doing that's really cool.
PZO: Individually?
Ryan: I hear "You have a great voice. How do you do it?" a lot.
Brandon: I don't hear much individually so..

PZO: If you were to have your own 1-800 number, what would you want it to be?
Ryan: 1-800-Druidia. No one is going to get that one.
PZO: Yeah...
Ryan: You haven't seen Spaceballs have you?
PZO: No.
Ryan: Too young for Spaceballs.
PZO: I don't see a lot of movies...apparently.
Ryan: What would yours be, Brandon? Should I say what yours should be?
Brandon: Uhhhh.....sure. What do you think mine should be?
Ryan: Some kind of hustler pimp thing, I would say.
Brandon: 1-800-BigPimp
Ryan: Big pimp.
Ryan: What would yours be?
PZO: Mine?
Ryan: Yeah.
PZO: 1-800-EditorialNerdette
Ryan: Okay. Good.
PZO: or GolfNerd.
Ryan: Golf nerd? Swing your golf clubs.
Brandon: That's a long 1-800 number.
PZO: Yeah, we golf <points to PZO_Video_Camera_Friend>.
Ryan: Wow. I have a nice swing.
Brandon: I've never golfed.
PZO: Oh, you do? Nice.
Ryan: Only, golf to us consists of a case of beer and some cigars and a golf cart.
<Golf chat continues for a little longer>

PZO: What's one slang word you can't stand?
Ryan: Slang word I can't stand? I don't know. I think we're the kings of stupid slang words, so.
Brandon: I know there's a word that I just can't stand which is 'whatever'.
Ryan: Whatever. I don't know.
Brandon: No, it has to be what-EVER.
Ryan: what-EVER.
Brandon: Other than that I really don't know.
Ryan: I don't know. All that frizzle, mah-shizzle, my-nizzle, on the e-z, fra-sheezy. Any of those like little slang words that just come up for a month until somebody gets a better one. Those are really annoying.

PZO: When you're in the studio how much control do you get over the finished product? How open are you to other people's input?
Brandon: We get about 98 to 99% total control of our finished product.
Ryan: We listen to what people say. Especially a producer 'cause that's why you have one. He's kind of like an outsider; to take what everyone's doing and give it an all around opinion. Which is hard to do when you're five completely different people trying to make a piece of art.

PZO: Given the opportunity, who would you kidnap for a day?
Ryan: Brandon.
Brandon: If I could kidnap somebody for a day? It can only be one person?
PZO: Yeah.
Ryan: Jesus.
<a few laughs>
Brandon: Are you saying Jesus [jeezus] or are you actually going to kidnap him?
Ryan: That'd be good actually.
Brandon: There's so many people I'd want to kidnap.
PZO: Name some.
Brandon: Are you sure I couldn't kidnap them all in like five minutes or something?
PZO: Fine.
Ryan: <laughs>
Brandon: Or my mission would be failed.
PZO: Well, who?
Brandon: Kirsten Dunst and Elizabeth Hurley and...uh..those would be my two.
Ryan: Dead or alive?
PZO: Either/or.
Ryan: Jeff Buckley. Musician wise: Jeff Buckley. Chick wise: There's just too many of them for me. Rachel Leigh Cook is pretty cute. Jennifer Love Hewitt, I have the hots for her.
PZO: Ugh.
Ryan: Ugh. You don't like her?
PZO: She gets around.
Ryan: Does she really? I don't read tabloids, so I wouldn't know.
PZO: I'm sure you watch television.
<Tabloid and JLH convo's go on>
Ryan: Who would you kidnap for a day?
PZO: Me?
Ryan: Yeah. <whispers> Brandon.
PZO: Buddy Holly.
Ryan: Good answer.
Brandon: Why Buddy Holly?
Ryan: Because you look just like Buddy Holly and I'm Mary Tyler Moore.
PZO: Why don't I just kidnap you guys?
Ryan: There you go.
PZO: It's settled then.
Ryan: Good answer.

PZO: What is the worst advice you've ever been given?
Ryan: Worst advice given, Brandon. Brandon probably gave me the worst advice ever, but I don't know if I should talk about that on camera. It might offend you girls. I don't know. That's a tough question. I really don't like it when people are like, "Don't forget us little people", you know when we signed our record contract and it's like we're all the exact same. I mean of
course we've grown up a lot since all of this has happened, but when we go home we expect not to be Greenwheel. You know how people come around and you haven't talked to them in forever and they never really liked you. They're like, "Hey, are you too cool to talk to me now?" It's like no, I just don't like you. You didn't like me either, so I don't like you.
Brandon: Usually I don't remember the worst advice.
Ryan: Yeah, it goes in through one ear and out the other.

Ryan: She looks like she's really enjoying this.
PZO: I am. I really am, believe it or not.
Ryan: She's got a straight face.
PZO: I had a long day and I am generally a serious person.
Ryan: Rolling your eyes at us.
PZO: I did not roll my eyes.
Ryan: Yes, you did.
PZO: No, I didn't.
Ryan: I saw you.
PZO: Are you going to argue with me?
Ryan: Yes.
Ryan: On camera.
PZO: Bring it on.
Ryan: Oh, you don't want none of this.
PZO: Well, she's my bodyguard <points to PZO_Camera_Friend>
Ryan: <grabs onto Brandon's arms>
Are you a brown belt?
PZO_Camera_Friend: Yeah, one away from black.
Ryan: Wow. Can you do this? <does standing Craine>
PZO_Camera_Friend: Yeah, if you want to get kicked in the groin I could do that.
Brandon: A brown belt in what?
PZO_Camera_Friend: In Bu Kar Do and Amm Ka Jutsu.
Brandon: I think she could kick your ass.
Ryan: She's one hell of an ass kicker.
PZO: Yeah, why do you think she comes along?
Ryan: Oooh.
PZO: Nah, actually we're all cousins.
Ryan: Really?
PZO: Yeah, but you know what? We can get into that later.

PZO: What is the strangest phone call you've ever received?
Brandon: Some guy got my number just out of hand and he thought I was the Veteran's Society and he wanted me to get him his veteran's check. That's the strangest phone call I've ever received.
PZO: Did you go along with it?
Brandon: It was a message. Which is weird 'cause why would he leave a message if he heard my name on the machine.
PZO: Yeah.
Ryan: Brandon and I lived in an apartment together in Nashville. I guess two weeks before we moved in the movie theatre that was right next to the apartment complex changed their phone number and we got the old phone number and there wasn't going to be a new phonebook for another five months, I think. So the phonebook had our phone number as the movie theatre, so people were calling. Like every 10 minutes the phone would ring. "Is this the movie theatre?" For awhile we were saying, No, it's not, but then we got ticked off and we were like Yes, this is the movie theatre.
Ryan: That was really annoying.

PZO: What is the best insult or 'would be insult' you've heard or used?

Ryan: Uh...man. You yellow bellied son of a gun.
Brandon: I try not to insult people.
Ryan: We're pretty nice people.
Brandon: And we usually aren't insulted.
Ryan: If we go on the road with a band that isn't nice, we feel like we've done something wrong. What did we do? Why don't they like us?
Brandon: There was a heckler that said, "Pussies, like you."
Ryan: Oh yeah. At some show in Denver some guy was like, "Cause you're a pussy." and I stopped the show and told them I had to go cry backstage.
Brandon: That was his best insult.
Ryan: I am a pussy, for the camera.
Brandon: That's going to get edited.
PZO: We don't edit.
Ryan: My integrity is gone.
PZO: You guys are actually being pretty decent.
Ryan: Who the fuckin' what?
PZO: There we go.
Ryan: Sorry about that.

PZO: What profession would you never like to try?
Ryan: Being a bass player. <laughs>
Brandon: I'd say being a captain for a boat. I wouldn't know how to do that.
PZO: Well, you'd be trained to do that.
Brandon: Oh, I'd be trained.
Ryan: I'd say being a singer in a band. Anything in a cubicle. That work 9-5 even Saturdays and Sunday's.
PZO_Camera_Friend: What about a septic tank?
Ryan: That wouldn't be too bad.
<Door opens>
Ryan: Jeff!
Brandon: Merchandise guy.
Ryan: Yeah, being a merch guy would really suck.
PZO: Does he have his own website too?
Ryan: No, but Pat does.
PZO: Yeah, I saw that...
Ryan: Pat hasn't come by yet. He'll make a gala appearance though.
<Rolling eyes convo comes back for a bit>

PZO: Is there a band that you wish would just call it quits?
Ryan: We can't answer that one! Greenwheel.
Ryan: Is Ratt still playing?
Brandon: No.
Ryan: L.A. Guns?
Brandon: I don't know.
Ryan: I'm not going to say anything.
Brandon: I think every band should give it their all.
Ryan: I think if they wrote all their songs for most of their career and they're still doing it and having other people write their songs that's getting kind of...each his own, you know? Whatever.

PZO: What is one thing you would not do no matter how much money you were offered?
Ryan: Kiss Brandon.
PZO: Are you sure?
Ryan: <smiles> No.
Brandon: I don't know. Everything is priced...
Ryan: I would say doing something--I wouldn't take any money to do anything to someone that I cared for like a friend or a family member.
PZO: Good answer.
<Brandon nods head>
Ryan: We will concur. <Whispers to Brandon> I got a big vocabulary. I said "concur".

<Nevra's cell phone rings and Ryan grabs it>
Ryan: Hi, Mom! How are ya?
Ryan: Uh...this is she.
PZO: She never fails...
Ryan: Hold on. <to Nevra> It's your mom.
<Nevra talks to her mom>
Brandon: <to PZO_Camera_Friend> So if I paid you 10 bucks, would you kick his [Merch guy, Jeff] ass?
<Nevra's still on the phone and Ryan gets out his guitar and starts to strum and sing>

Ryan: <sings> Mooooom iiisss oonnn thhheee ppphooonnnneee.
PZO: Can you stop that?!
<Brandon grabs Ryan's hand>
Brandon: I'm trying to get her [PZO_Camera_Friend] to kick Jeff's ass.
Ryan: <grunts> I don't smell good!
Brandon: I don't have good hygiene!
<Nevra gets off the phone>
PZO: She was like, "Who was that young man?"
Ryan: <grabs guitar> Who was that young man??
Ryan: <hands out guitar> Jeff!
Brandon: <to PZO_Camera_Friend> Seriously, you should give him a kick or something.
Ryan: A swift kick to the balls.
Brandon: On the side of the leg.
PZO: Who? Him? <points to the guy wearing the Filter hoodie> Filter...I didn't care for the new album.
Jeff: It's an acquired taste.
Brandon: Just like merch guys.
PZO: I guess so. I found it quite redundant.
Ryan: OOOOoooohhh.
PZO: Not that they aren't a credible band, but I've heard better previous attempts.
Ryan: OOOOoooohhh. She's Ricky Martin's fan.
PZO: Oh God, no.
<Ryan begins to dance like Ricky Martin>

PZO: You need to take dance lessons.
Ryan:<Shocked face> I did.
PZO_Camera_Friend: I'd sue.
Brandon: I was the Cha Cha champion.
Ryan: I was a hula hoop champion.
Brandon: Also, the jitterbug.
PZO: I want to learn that.
<Dance talk continues for a bit>

PZO: What is one of your craziest goals?
Brandon: I'd say one of our craziest goals would be to be in a rock band.
Ryan: Yeah, definitely.
Brandon: I'm in a rock band.
Ryan: Accomplished.
Ryan: How old are you girls?
PZO_Camera_Friend: Seventeen.
PZO_Video_Camera_Friend: Sixteen.
<Ryan looks at Nevra, she smiles>
Brandon: She's trying to figure out what age to throw out.
PZO: Well...I can pass as thirteen.
Ryan: How old are you?
PZO_Camera_Friend: Seventeen.
PZO: Anyway...craziest goal.
Ryan: I said being in a band.
PZO: That's not a goal since it has been accomplished already.
Ryan: You're right.
Brandon: I have no more goals.
Ryan: My craziest goal: I'd like to skydive. That's a pretty tough one to do.
Brandon: I'd say the craziest goal is that you actually have a family that is a band.
Ryan: I'd like to go to the moon. I think that would be pretty cool.
<Something begins to beep>
Ryan: What is that beep?!?!
PZO: There's a fire somewhere.
Ryan: We got a little excess carbon monoxide in here, girls. It's okay. If you start to get a little woozy just sit.
Brandon: If you go to sleep we'll try to wake you up.

PZO: Do you have any favorite or memorable informercials?
Brandon: The guy for Oxy-Clean.
Ryan: The juice man. The guy with the big unibrow.
Brandon: He's like seventy-five.
PZO: Never seen him.
Ryan: You're missing out.
Brandon: He's got like white eyebrows.
Ryan: <In enthusiastic salesman voice> This knife killed 35,000 people in Cambodia now you can use it too!
Brandon: I'd have to say the guy in Oxy-Clean.
Ryan: Or the guy in real estate.
Brandon: I don't remember his name.
Ryan: The real young guy.
Brandon: I don't remember his name though.
Ryan: <enthusiastically> OH MY GOD!
Brandon: Yeah, he's always like that....And you can too!
Ryan: <enthusiastically> AND YOU CAN TOO! <holds up a map> Check out our new product!
Ryan: We saw an iron the other day. Steam iron.
Brandon: That wasn't an infomercial though. That was like BBC.
Ryan: Juice man. Definitely, Juice man. And yours?
PZO: Those nair ones.
Ryan: OH, I like nads. "I put nads on my chin." What's your number, honey?
PZO_Video_Camera_Friend: Why do they always put it on guys too?
Brandon: Because guys are hairy.
Ryan: I like it when the guy has like hair all over his back and you sit there and want to puke and they nad it all off.
Brandon: Nads work a little bit better than hot wax.
Ryan: Here you go. Your own infomercial.
Brandon: I swear to God it hurts like a bitch.
PZO: So you've tried this...?
Brandon: Oh yeah.
PZO: Uh huh.
Brandon: It hurts like a bitch, but it hurts less than hot wax. Nothing is ever going to be painless.

<Jeff, the merch guy sits down near us and eats chips and salsa>
Brandon: That's our merch guy. His name is Jeff.
Ryan: He eats our chips and salsa.
PZO: Where did you find him?
Ryan: He's our manager's little brother. Our manager is like what 8 months older than us. One of our managers.
Brandon: He needs a website. Somebody make one for him.
Jeff: No, I don't. That's why I stay away from all those crazy people.
Brandon: You got that on tape, right?
ALL: Yes.
PZO: He very well might get his own website now.
Brandon: I want it to say specifically, "That's why I stay away from all those crazy people" on tape.

PZO: In 60 seconds tell everyone why they should buy your album.
Brandon: I'd say buy our album because....<silence> we put a lot of time and effort into the album and for something that cheap you should check it out.
Ryan: I'm not going to say anything.
PZO: Why not?
Ryan: If you like it, buy it. If you don't like it, don't buy it. That's a question they should decide. Buy it because you like our music. There would be only one reason why they'd buy it and that'd be because they like it. Are you trying to make me do my own infomercial here?
PZO: Sort of.
<Grabs Greenwheel CD from Nevra's bag>
Ryan: 9.99! Greenwheel! Check it out! By listening to this record you can go from looking like this to this.<opens CD booklet> This is why you should buy it we're on the front.
Brandon: He's giving all the artwork away. They won't buy it now.
Ryan: Here's Brandon wearing Gucci.
Brandon: There's secret pictures inside of the artwork.
Ryan: Brandon is wearing a Gucci jacket with a Dolce and Gabbana pants.
<more sale pitches are said even though the 60 second mark has passed>
Ryan: That's why you should buy our album.
PZO: The artwork.
Ryan: And we made it. We made the record and we wrote all the songs on the record. That's quite unique these days.

<Door opens and the guitar tech, Pat enters>
Ryan: Ladies and Ladies! It's Pat!
Brandon: A Pat sighting.
Brandon: Be sure to make another website for him too.
Ryan: Alright, enough about Pat. Gosh everytime.
PZO: I was wondering why he had a website. Does he know who made it?
Brandon: We know who made it.
Ryan: <To Pat> This is live to NBC.
Pat: Is it now?
Brandon: Yeah.

PZO: Is there a question that comes up in interviews that you're tired of being asked?
Ryan: What does your band name mean? How did it start? 'Cause it doesn't have a meaning. Oh and the, "So you recorded this album in a storage shed with mice." No, we didn't.
Brandon: We actually recorded it on that yacht. You know the Jay-Z video for "Big Pimpin'" We were on that yacht. If you look really hard, 'cause we're on the same label, we were actually on the bottom of that yacht recording the album.
Ryan: If you look close enough you can see the tattoo I was going to show you.
PZO: Interesting...
Ryan: That's right.

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