PZO: How did you react the
first time you heard one of your songs on the radio?
Kelly: I went, ďuhhhh....cool.Ē
PZO: No big celebration or anything like that?
PZO: If you could have your own 1-800 number
what would it be?
PZO: Out of all the tours youíve done, which
has been the most memorable to you and why?
Kelly: Probably Europe with the Bloodhound Gang. Itís the most memorable
because it was my first time in a lot of those countries. We went all
the way to Eastern Europe. It was the longest one, too. It was almost
2 months in Europe, and it was just like too much. So thatís the most
PZO: Did you ever think youíd be where you are
Kelly: Yes. Actually, I thought Iíd be further if you wanna know the facts.
Nah, I thought...well, yeah, this is always what I wanted to do.
PZO: You guys just put out a new album, Open
Your Eyes; did you do anything special on that day to celebrate?
Kelly: No, we were in Canada. We seem to be in Canada whenever something
goes on. Like Fourth of July-Canada. Last year for the Fourth of July-Switzerland.
Um, no, I mean, no we didnít. We were just like, ďAlright, tour!Ē
PZO: Is there a band that you wish would just
call it quits?
Kelly: A band that I wish would call it quits? Ooh, you know, thatís a
tough one Ďcause thereís a lot of bands that I wish would call it quits,
but I donít wanna point any fingers at anyone. Not a lot, but thereís
a few. Well, no, not really. I mean, if I donít like something I just
ignore it and look the other direction or turn the channel...or turn the
station. Yeah, maybe, I think probably, and I donít think itís gonna be
an option, I think theyíre gonna have to call it quits, but I think Limp
Bizkit. After Monkey-Boy quit....uh, Wes, I donít think theyíre gonna
have...ícause he wrote a lot of their music. But if they quit or they
donít, I donít really care. Theyíre just shit Iím tired of hearing on
the radio. But I canít really blame those bands because if it were me
I would want to be on the radio all the time too, probably. So thereíd
be dudes like me sitting around going ďshut the fuck up!Ē <laughter>
So probably no. I mean, everyoneís got their fair shot. There are certain
people in the industry I wish would call it quits, but whatever.
PZO: How many tattoos do all of you guys have
Kelly: Too many to list. Well, just me, John, and Darrin, Ďcause Brian
doesnít have any, so...a lot.
PZO: If you could pick any band to cover one
of your songs, which band and song would you pick?
Kelly: Ooh, thatís a good question. Any band to cover....what song would
I pick...I would say ďHere in Your BedroomĒ and I would pick Slayer.
PZO: Are you a big fan?
Kelly: Nah, I just think it would be funny if Slayer covered one of our
PZO: How much control do you have over what
your merchandise looks like?
Kelly: We have total control over it.
PZO: So you design everything?
Kelly: Well, we have somebody design it, but we have ideas and we try
to like, I donít know I think weíre still constantly trying to make our
merch better. But you canít do the same thing Ďcause everybodyís like,
ďI got that already, so Iím gonna buy this other bandís stuff.Ē So yeah,
we have control over that. Whether itís good or not is a whole other story.
PZO: Whatís the coolest perk about being in
Kelly: Not having a boss standing over me, telling me what to do. I can
pretty much...we make our own hours. I would say probably that, just not
having somebody breathing down our throats telling us what to do. We can
just be like, ďWe donít wanna play that town.Ē Which we donít do that,
but I mean, if we wanted to we could like sleep in as late as we want.
Thereís a lot of perks actually. Girls think Iím attractive Ďcause they
see me up on stage shakiní my thang.
Kelly: Thatís kinda funny, but I would say not having a boss.
PZO: Darrinís Coconut Ass...who came up with
the name for that?
Kelly: The original bass player, Simon, wanted to call one of the records
Darrinís Coconut Ass. He split the band, but he came up with that and
he just thought that Darrin has a huge fuckiní hairy ass and we think
itís funny, so...
PZO: Whatís one of the most embarrassing things that has happened to
you while you were onstage?
Kelly: Ooh, to me, probably I was gonna do some little bass solo thing
back in the day. They were like, ďDo a bass solo, dude.Ē Oh, I had to
do an intro for some thing. <starts pretending heís playing his
bass> It was some fucking Destinyís Child song. Then I was playing
the bass part and my fucking foot pedal broke, and there was no sound
coming out. Iím like, alright, I look like a total asshole. So that was
probably it. Although, somebody puked onstage the other night in Lawrence,
Kansas all over two of our roadies; that was pretty funny. But I didnít
see it. It smelled like shit though. It smelled putrid.
PZO: Do you have any bad jokes that youíd like
Kelly: Any bad jokes...whatís the difference between a drummer and a pig?
PZO: I donít know.
Kelly: A pig wonít stay up all night trying to fuck a drummer.
Kelly: Did you hear the one about the bass player that locked his keys
in the car?
Kelly: It took him twenty minutes to get the drummer out.
PZO: If you had a choice, what time in history
would you like to live in?
Kelly: Oh wow. I probably, maybe, late sixties, which I did live then
anyway, but I donít remember it. Oh, fuck, you know, probably now or in
the sixties, like being this age, probably the sixties or seventies because
a lot of the musical instruments were pretty rad back then. Iíd like to
just go back and buy up all these guitars for really cheap and then go
in the future and have this rad collection of awesome instruments that
would be worth like, five hundred thousand times what they were worth
then. Like a 59 LesPaul. Like when they first started inventing instruments,
Iíd like to go back around then and just collect a bunch of them and just
hang on to them.
PZO: And sell them later?
Kelly: Maybe. Or Iíd just hang on to them for a while.
PZO: Do you ever pull any pranks on the bands
that youíre touring with?
Kelly: Yeah, sometimes we do. Like at the end of the tours, like if itís
the last day of the tour, what did we do...we dressed up in lingerie and
drag one time and walked out onstage. Actually, it was during Mestís set.
And I actually put on a wig and wrote Soy Bomb on my stomach like that
guy that walked out when Bob Dylan was doing his thing at like, some music
PZO: I donít think I ever heard about that.
Kelly: Ah, well, I donít know, just goofy stuff like that. Nothing like,
super. I donít like messing with peopleís gear Ďcause if theyíd mess with
my gear then Iíd want to fuck them up. So itís usually goofy, embarrassing
stuff like that. Go out in like, underwear or a diaper or something like
PZO: When youíre in the studio, how much control
do you have over the finished product?
Kelly: Iíd say about 95 % of it. The labelís got some say in like particular
songs, but we have probably 95 % control on this record. So if it sucks,
itís our fault! <laughs>
PZO: Are there any fairly unknown bands you
think other people should check out?
Kelly: Um, you know, I donít really go out to clubs when Iím at home because
I do this every night. So the last thing I want to do is go and ruin my
ears even more in a packed, smoky club. Um, I donít know, Johnís always
working with some bands, but I donít get paid enough to plug his bands,
so. Thereís this one band, The Used. I donít know, you know I gotta go
check some unknown bands out. Honestly, I havenít had a chance to because
youíre in town, and then boom, youíre gone. I really donít get to.
PZO: If you could pass a law, what would it
Kelly: Legalize pot.
PZO: Thatís it? Nothing else?
Kelly: Well, just one law in the states, or universally?
PZO: Yeah, one in the states.
Kelly: Well, it would be a toss-up. I would do one that would make handguns
illegal. You could have a rifle, but you canít have a handgun. Handguns
are illegal. And pot is legal. Is that hippie-dippie enough for ya?
PZO: <laughs> Yeah.
PZO: Which decade do you think had the best
Kelly: Fuck. I donít know, every decadeís had really great music. I just
enjoyed the seventies, Ďcause a lot of the original punk rock stuff came
out. You know, The Ramones and Blondie. The Stooges, which is actually
from the late sixties and early seventies. David Bowie. Aerosmoth, like
old, rad Aerosmith. Thatís when all those bands were really good. Curtis
Mayfield. Even late sixties and early seventies, Sly and the Family Stone,
The Who, The Sex Pistols. All that English stuff the came, The Clash,
too many bands to really...I just thought it was a cooler, crazier time.
It was before AIDS, you know, and it wasnít quite so uptight.
PZO: Do you prefer the larger or smaller venues?
Kelly: You know, I like them both. It depends on...well, both of them
are equally cool. I like the big ones because you feel like youíre reaching
a lot of people and thereís more energy to draw from. But I like the small
ones too because the crowdís right in your face and you totally interact
with them. Thatís just like a mood thing, like what are you gonna listen
to today, country or jazz, know what I mean? Thatís what I think.
PZO: Is there a city you guys like playing in
more than others?
Kelly: Probably Chicago. Chicago we do really good, New York we do really
good, London. Londonís rad, I love playing London. Um, and then thereís
the L.A., Orange County, Anaheim stuff that I like doing too. But probably
Chicago, New York, London, those are the three big ones. Iíd like to say
L.A., but weíve really never played. We always play like Anaheim, outside
of it, Ďcause thatís where all the kids come from, the suburbs, to see
us anyways. Itís not like the Hollywood people could give a fucking ratís
ass about us, you know what I mean? Theyíre too busy doing their own thing.