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members present:
Chris Burney
Erik Chandler
conducted on:
January 2005
by: Nevra Azerkan
official website
shout-out to PZO


PZO: As a band what are your best qualities?
Chris: <laughs>
Erik: Oh, good Lord.
Chris: Boy…I think the fact that we are non-threatening to people who are actually good as musicians. We're not weird, crazy people.
Erik: We're really good at killing beers.
Chris: We always flush the toilet when we pee in it.
Erik: That's true. Those are pretty good qualities.
Chris: Those are pretty good to have for a band.

PZO: What's the worst advice you've ever been given?
Chris: Probably to go that way.
Erik: <laughs> That's right. They said not to go that way.
Chris: But I went that way.
Erik: But you went that way. That was a half hour drive that turned into like three hours.

PZO: Is there a decision you hope you never have to make?
Erik: Yes, I hope I never have to make the decision to pull the trigger.
Chris: You took the best one. I hope I never have to make the decision to get a tracheotomy or just take it in the face. I don't want to do that.

PZO: What's your favorite childhood memory?
Chris: My favorite childhood memory is that I used to be good at making forts out of pretty much nothing at all. Give me a piece of metal, a couple of blankets and maybe half of a chair and I'll make a pretty badass fort and then defend it all day.
Erik: Probably the club house we built behind our house in a field. It was all camouflage you couldn't see it--with booby traps everywhere.

PZO: Is there anything about your music that you would like to improve or change?
Erik: I'm really happy with the way it is now.
Chris: We're good enough to make it--get by and that's good enough for me.
Erik: Yeah.

PZO: What event on your life had the greatest impact on you?
Chris: Probably being born. I could have been thwarted by the pill or maybe just ended up in the toilet system.
Erik: When my daughter was born that was pretty big. It has a pretty big impact on you.

PZO: If you could pass a law what would it be?
Erik: I'd outlaw haters, man.
Chris: I would institute a if you look me in the eye you owe me a five dollar tax. What do you think about that, do you like that?
Erik: That's good.
Chris: Don't look me in the eye!
Erik: There's ten!

PZO: What do you have in your pockets right now?
[they begin to take out objects from their pockets]
Erik: Cell phone.
Chris: Phone.
Erik: A pack of cigarettes.
Chris: A bunch of guitar picks.
Erik: A lighter.
Chris: This is kind of personal. Altoid gum, a lighter, five bucks that I got from some guy from looking me in the eye.
Erik: [counting money] Twenty-five dollars.
Chris: Some change.
Erik: Two sharpies, breath strips, chapstick, another sharpie--
Chris: My wallet.
Erik: Got my earplugs.
Chris: That's about it.
Erik: Some nasal spray, [keeps digging] a jacuzzi, my wallet. Yeah, that's it...now I got to put all this shit back up.

PZO: What band or artist would you like to see call it quits?
Chris: People kind of resurface again after awhile.
Erik: I wouldn't be upset if young Ashlee Simpson went into retirement.

PZO: What is one thing you would not do no matter how much money you were offered?
Erik: I don't know money talks. I would definitely have a price.
Chris: He does have a price. I've got him to do some pretty weird things for money.
Erik: I clipped his toenails for $8.00 because I was broke and we were going out that night.
Chris: He was broke he needed the money.
Erik: Back in the day when nobody had any money we were all dirt poor. That got me three 32 oz. beers and a pretty good buzz too.
PZO: How bad was it?
Erik: Fucking bad. <laughter>
Chris: I did it last night for free.
PZO: Would you kill anyone for money?
Erik: I wouldn't kill anyone, no.
Chris: I'm not going to rule it out. I'd do it for free. Maybe I have.
Everyone: Ooooohhhh!

PZO: What's the most misunderstood lyric in one of your songs?
Erik: Definitely, "Girl All The Bad Guys Want" the line about two way 'cause for some reason in the United Kingdom they do not have pagers and everyone over there in almost every interview <laughter>

PZO: What's one of your favorite lines from one of your songs?
Chris: I don't know any of my songs.
Erik: Probably the bridge to "My Hometown". It talks about all the people in the town that we're from how they would say they were always there for us but nobody was there so we left and everybody gets upset that we don't claim that as our home anymore. First of all, we don't fucking live there and second nobody there gave a shit about us until we left.

PZO: Do any of you have ringtones from one of your songs?
Chris: Yeah, "1985", but it sucks. It's pretty bad.
[He plays the ringtone]

PZO: What was the last good deed you did?
Erik: We gave the homeless guy outside our bus our chicken yesterday. We had a BBQ.
Chris: I helped this old lady up after I knocked her down, but I helped her up. Nah, I didn't. I don't think I've ever done anything good in my life.
Everyone: Awwww.

PZO: What's your motto for life?
Erik: Have a good time all the time.
Chris: My motto is to never have mottos.

PZO: Given the opportunity, who would you kidnap for a day?
Erik: Anything sexual going on here?
PZO: Whatever you want. Good or bad kidnapping.
Chris: Nice kidnapping…
Erik: I want to hang out with Nick Lachey. I'm going to kidnap Nick.
Chris: Then let's just take Jessica Simpson for the bad one.
Erik: Alright, sounds good to me.

PZO: What was the last meaningful thing you did?
Chris: I hate these good questions. Where are the ones that are like "Where did the name of you band come from?", "What's your favorite color?" This hurts!
Erik: I got to have Christmas in the house that I grew up in first time in twenty years.
Chris: That's a good one. I was watching the end of the season football highlights. I got a tear in my eye.

PZO: What's one question you've never been asked in an interview that you would like to be asked?
Chris: Nobody has ever asked me what my favorite way to gut a fish is.
Erik: What is your favorite way to gut a fish?
Chris: Cut him down the belly and you get in there and get like right at the top of the mouth and pull it down and you rip it out and all the guts come out with it. Slice, rip and tear.

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